Let's talk Sex
Perhaps one of the hardest thing to do as a parent is having "the Talk" with your child. Often parents place this burden on educational institutions to teach their children about sexuality. The problem with this is that schools focus on birth control, sexually transmitted diseases, and the physiological changes of the body and reproductive systems. It is up to the parents to teach abstinence and the importance of respecting your body. As a parent, I think it is a topic that should be taught from the time a child is old enough to understand the difference between a boy and a girl. I think it is vital that children know and understand their body and understanding the difference between "good touch" and "bad touch". Being comfortable talking about your body and the changes your body will be going through as you grow can be a positive and natural experience for both the parent and your child.
I think the most importance thing we can teach our children is about self respect and understanding the responsibilities you take when you choose to be sexually active. Children today are influenced by social media, television, and liberal politicians that desensitize our children on morals and what they feel should be the "norm." According to SIECUS, the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, in 2005, 34% of ninth grade students reported being sexually active while 63% of twelfth grade students were sexually active. I am sure that today the numbers are significantly higher. Another startling statistic from the same survey, showed that of those sexually active students, almost 18% reported having more than four different sexual partners and only 68% of those used condoms. Coming from a small town, if a girl had sexual relations with four boys, she would be judged harshly. Unfortunately, boys seek out these girls for temporary gratification, and really do not have feelings for those girls. Once their reputations are ruined, it is often impossible to regain their dignity and respect. It is up to parents to teach boys the importance of respecting girls, and not taking advantage of girls if your intentions are not sincere. It is also important to teach girls about self respect and the damage to your reputation of having sexual relations without the love and respect of your partner. With social media today, it is more important than ever that all children understand the importance of abstinence, dignity, and coveting your body until the emotional maturity is there to understand the consequence associated with being sexually active. I feel the earlier you speak to your child, the better. Do not wait until you feel the time is right. Keep the dialogue open throughout your child's life. I am always looking for opportunities to talk to my teens. I strive to be open, understanding, and as realistic as possible. I can not stop my child from being sexually active, but I can educate them and provide them with the resources they need to be responsible.
For information and publications on talking to your children on sexuality, I recommend the SIECUS website on www.siecus.org.
Amy Haverkamp
Centers for Disease Control. (2005) Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance.
retrieved from www.sexedlibrary.org/index.cfm?pageID=815
